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One cannot 'will' one's self to exist from nothingness, so existing from nothingness cannot be a choice that one has, unless 'nothing' is something too. From this, you may conclude that 'nothing' as the term implies, cannot mean the non existence of anything since a complete null space is impossible to imagine, but instead refers to something that cannot 'exist to be observed' since the knowing of something and the seeing of something are so closely related. How can the mind then, understand nothing, if it is always the experience of a relationship of something? Mentally then, the 'thing' that the word 'nothing' describes can only exist as an opposite to something that can already be described. Therefore nothing is as much something as are all things that have yet to be discovered. However, because the discovery of something and its possible description are mutually inclusive, nothing can never become its core definition.

As there seems to be such an enormous difference between something and nothing, existing and not existing, surely those things that do exist must do so for a reason. In order to understand the mystery that then arises, human beings regularly grab at the Darwinian collection, Chaos Theory, or may settle on worship of a Deity. These conclusions are the natural result of logical association and reasonable connectedness that reach toward crystals of connecting arguments. The possession of these crystalline objects then, create a sense of life as something more than meets the senses and the journey turns a blind eye to the remarkable sense of change constantly permeating through the various levels of spiritual activity. When a seeker finds what they are looking for, part of the journey seems to end, although the reality keeps going.

What seems to be obviously occurring in nature is a constant state of transformation, so just as a seed grows to flower, to fruit and to seed, so life grows to mind, to adulthood and to children. This creates the fundamental duality that is needed for sentient life - the observer and the observed. Life itself gains new types of eyes with which to see itself, especially from different temporal positions in the same time space. Through the changing moments one collects information that enables ever lasting self understanding and once the / a self purpose is understood, it cannot but carve a straight and narrow light filled road on which to journey.

So what does all this mean? What is the point in pursuing these ideas? I don't think anyone could have said it better than Terence McKenna (TMK):

"One has a window of opportunity somewhere between zip and a hundred, to solve or understand or penetrate or appreciate or come to terms with, the conundrum of being; this amazing circumstance with which we find ourselves."

This 'purpose' is it for me. I exist to experience this form and connected awareness and in doing so, I realise that if this thing called life means anything - then surely it must mean EVERYTHING. The beauty and complexity available to be observed with our senses and cognitive tools are limited only by our curiosity. The vision that is able to be raised to conscious awareness and cognised or otherwise experienced is limited only by the human being; by the self-governing human organism-thingy. In other words, the very vehicle of enlightenment, joy, fulfillment, experience and wonder in this world, is also the very cause of despair, disease, frustration, disappointment and regret. You are your own worst enemy or anything else you decide you are. A true self fullfilling prophecy.

Fortunately you don't have to grapple with whether or not these ideas are worthy of your absorbtion, since you can test them yourself by beginning the process of understanding within your own subjective cosmic sphere through the pursuit, creation and maintanence of a spirited policy of ->

truth in every way within your realm of mind.

When one has a holistic goal that is not organised from without but instead born in the intimate personal space of the now moment, it gathers the spirits from all corners of ones reach. Nothing unites like a common cause and a cause that is heartfelt becomes a light that is perpetually guiding the way. On the other hand, by raising sensory, intellectual and intuitive information to the level of FACT, they gain new priority and are able to develope naturally in the light of truth, without the specter of doubt.

By examination and experimentation then, everyone has the ability to closely and accurately examine those human attributes which exist beyond the realm of preconception. In other words, you have to think about it. Normally thinking is a subconscious process, but when it is linked with consciousness, it develops remarkable properties. When truth is linked with consciousness, even more is possible. Truth really is life's saving grace.


The conscious choice of choosing the path of truth is one of reverence to the spirit and this gives one an essential sense of direction. Mind can be perceived on a mechanical level but seldom in its entirety as it changes constantly in both content and context. The gaining of a directional plane provides an 'automatic' set of parameters for action and perception. When those parameters are chosen with a intention in mind, one achieves clarity. Although these 'steering mechanics' of the soul use a type of underlying 'magic', an honest and clear approach creates a completely reasonable and vivid awareness of a testable reality.

The modern style of living floods our senses with repetitive and meaningless noise and so to survive - just to survive, we begin the process of blocking out the truth of the moment. As this process takes habitual hold, it becomes part of the normal routine of the muscular machine and leaves our conscious control. In this way, we become numb, as opposed to sharp. Meditation, or focused states of will are a method of taking back the self and heartbeat of the moment.

To be able to will ones' self in one activity or another is a powerful thing indeed, but to will the self to sit still for hours at a time is - or was, a much harder task. I had to convince myself that the time and effort would be worthwhile, and not just a chance to drift off into oblivion. This need for conscious awareness was the first key to the process.

There are many locks to be found on the the road to freedom and understanding and thought is one of them. The self has many layers and facets, but thought is the fabric of the thread that makes up its conscious existence, so it pays to patrol this realm. If one can become more aware on a conscious level one might be able to 'see' the process and limitations of their current state, and find or devise new ways of advancing themselves through these focused states of being. Interestingly, seemingly due to the design of the progressive psychic states, the progress of self illumination can sometimes 'fall' back levels of awareness with no memory of, or ability to understand what has been lost (as with habits and non conscious reactions). Instead all that is left is the memory or trace of a previous illumination. Each progression enables a wider perception of something 'gained' as a fall creates the feeling of something 'lost'. The actual paths along the progression remain and strengthen with each ascension.

Although modern material life can become a constant process of burying oneself in misunderstandings, that when a purpose and a method of existing becomes clear, immense "mountains" of problems and fears that had up until then appeared factual and centermost to ones life, can disappear to become misconceptions of structure in the material of the mind. The thought forms of the previous modality or 'misunderstanding' then slowly disappear from conscious existence as their meanings are re-mapped by a psyche with a new sense of geography. With this done, more layers of awareness can be freed through the opening mind and there is sensible energy produced as a consciousness "jumps" layers or chakras. Once formed, the routes to the higher states can be more easily retraced and with patience and strong faith in the safety and wonder of the personal experience it can provide rich results. It can be a natural gradual nurturing of true and long lasting understanding as one develops tools which last a life time; what ever that might mean.

Everything is constantly moving and changing so it is no coincidence that life is often compared to a river or a body of flow. With an understanding that 'everything' (energy) is always in motion (vibration), you can have a clearer and deeper understanding of the space and time in which you exist and evolve, and all without having to study for a degree in quantum physics or microbiology as the more you realise that you are quantum physics and microbiology.

Nothing is impossible and results are guaranteed in anyone that is able to perceive the changing moment of their own existence; that is anyone that really tries to open their mind. This is the act of APPERCEPTION - or as TMK put it - attention to attention. The environment can sometimes seem to call out for ones attention, and it is exactly this power which one must try to realise and store. You can sell your attention to the loudest or shiniest time wasters, or give your power to that vessel that can most benefit from it; your own.

Once able to follow ones own ideas and move through the levels, one can become more aware of what consciousness 'the experience' is, and that everything in existence is a reflection of something else. As TMK liked to say,

"All things exist in the presence of their opposite".

As the self is capable of perception, it realises it is perceiving itself and gains what it has been searching for; a place of reference (or a body of perspective). Everything we know of, exists in relationships to everything else in the same place and we realise that the symbols we dream of, are related to the arcing feelings they produce and are not always connected by 'straight' lines .


The Earth Sense

The ego suffers because it wants and it wants because it is aware of measurements of itself and these show that it is fallible (always needing), ignorant and supplemental to its environment. These ego judgments though, are only possible because the conscious chi has assumed itself a center somewhere in the cognitive sphere and from this fixed position, it gains a measure of all known things from a distance, including itself. From this fixed position (there are sometimes more than one fixed position) there arises great responsibility through measurement and judgement controlling the area of persona as it fluctuates according to the weight of relationship to the various objects that appear in the mental and emotional spheres.

To achieve 'ego without center' one would need to keep the chi (time) moving so that the ego perspective never forms and is never able to be formed so that 'mania' (anxiety/frustration of being trapped in a fixed position) never develops since there is never a completely definable perspective that expresses the whole since the whole is perpetually being discovered and forgotten and never needs to be completely mapped or envisioned beyond the needs and experience of the moment. This creates the objective experience of time that is constant and eternal, instead of the shifting and alternating experiences of the subjective sensory life. Just like the unifying breath cleanses the spiritual eyes of binary thought construction, the cleansing of a fixed perspective embraces the moment towards an inevitably unknown future instead of maintaining a past with no notion of or interest in, what is to come.

In all things of attention, a decision has to be made in order to progress to a next level, as all forms of growth occur with a predetermined goal. This whole idea about making a differentiation between the "now" and the "then", and the relationship between consciousness and space-time becomes a little clearer and more manageable when one places the idea of a higher purpose into the equation. It is no co-incidence or accident that this particular inclusion completes the whole, it is just another consequence of the truth.


Do you have what it takes to meditate? Or do you believe that people that meditate (or as I have heard it described, to "sit and do nothing") are silly or dim? Here is a test that can answer both of those questions, and perhaps give a clearer indication of shape in the current wave of understanding. There is sometimes a master and sometimes a servant, but which is which is not always clear.

Pick a spot in a comfortable room where you wont be disturbed or distracted by anyone or anything for a while. This is a test that lasts an hour and is what I do on occasion when I begin to become stupid. Call it a healing ritual.

I choose to either stand for one hour in the same spot with soft music playing in the background in low light, OR, sit for one hour without music in darkness. If I choose to do the first, which I often consider easier, I then follow with the next, but beginners might just want to try one - to test their 'fiber'.

So standing up in the same spot for an hour sounds easy enough, but one can be surprised. The first time I tried this, I lasted just over six minutes before I found myself on my bed laughing at myself. Suddenly realising my 'failure' from the once validated and rational intention, I regained my composure and returned to stand at the same spot, only to last another 5 minutes before I was spinning on the heels of my feet as I swung my arms in loops yelling, "Ooh yeah!" My point here is that when it is harder than it appears, the level of difficulty is determined by the content and composure of other things already operating in the space. I made the hour eventually, and by that stage I had decided that an hour was just the beginning.

One might ask what one is supposed to 'do' during this time of meditation. Well, I would say that if you reach this stage, you are already 'doing' something, and not much else is needed. As has been written, when all work has been completed, the truth can begin. The world turns without ones constant conscious effort, so allowing and accepting the flow of understanding is enough to start the conscious union.

One might then remark that one doesn't know what to think about or beleive that you need to have something in mind to emote about during this hour. One is ultimately dealing with a large expanse of fractal forms, between dimensions that encapsulate the difference between the starts of things, and the not so 'end' of things so what may appear as illusions that may actually be the facts of the matter at hand. Here is a clue to the mass of ones vector, and perhaps even direction.

People might believe that willful guidance of the body is easy and so not the issue because they believe themselves (their conscious experience of the body) to be the totality of themselves and identify that point with their entire earth plane experience. They see themselves as 'Commander and Chief' and might not expect resistance or alternate views from within their own sphere. I suggest those people try to hold their breath for 10 minutes, and they will find that their 'importance' in the scheme of things is soon over-ridden with more serious and cosmic matters, that is, the presence of matter on a cosmic scale. There is a symbiotic event in progress and mutual respect and even love, will gain a seeker the keys to the city. Take care to keep your virtue in this space, and if you are able to stay, you will understand why you must keep it forever.

What you 'do' with your time will always be a part of what is going on in the time and space you inhabit. This is the idea of course and there is no need to initiate any change, only to revalue what ever it is that is being expereinced to the highest level that one can imagine. This is why we do not so much give it a value as imbue it with a meaning. The meaning is a higher vehicle than the literal value. Accept the natural state of your being and flow with it, with perhaps a 'lean' towards construction instead of destruction, towards lightness instead of heaviness and genrally looking for the right angle. You create the world you inhabit, so no one else can really show you it better than you can know it. Wei wu wei.

There is more to reality than is generally understood, and the real 'facts' are gratefully available to anyone who really wants to know. A ship of fools will travel very different vistas then a ship with a united crew, and there is surely only one destination acceptable to the captain that wants to understand his world for the benefit of all concerned.


So here I am. Halfway to heaven and nothing to do. I laugh softly to myself, as there is no one else in the room with me. I am alone. I am all by myself, and all with myself. I both am the self and share it with all other things that the self is and is not a part of. Why does this scare so many people? Where is the fear in being alone in such a united and self maintaining coherence? Surely it is not in the room with me? Is the fear in front of me or behind me? Is it above or below me? Is it my brother or my sister? I think I am alone, so if I am alone, then where could this fear hide itself in this room where I am alone, unless the fear is to be found inside my own being? So I AM the fear, or at least, I become the fear, when the scene requires it. What is this outlook then, and how does it change? Who or what is deciding reality these days?

Magic. It's the magic of a conscious awareness 'attached' to an unconscious one, like an elastic band that twists once on itself to create a figure eight, the sign of eternity that represents the vehicle of the Tao. It can also but seperately be described as a broken square, which has had one plane of its construction fall into itself leaving a line of reason that is limited to a temporal sequence creating a duality by squeezing the rational body of consciousness into something with a beginning and an end. This essentially means that there arise two separate entities seperated by an unknowable, unreadable expanse and so with both conscious and unconscious aspects, sometimes reversed in a way so that the consciousness of one is connected to the unconscious of the other. This is the Tao.

If completion is the destination, is completion not to be understood as 'coming to a sufficient understanding of self and its others so as to allow the presence of true peace in ones life'? Someone who has spent any amount of time in a scene of true peace will vouch for its worth and meaning.

Looking closer still, and just as if you were listening to a foreign tongue, human communication is a mixture of sound and colour on the surface, but sound before colour, being the opposite causation to the human cognitive highway that travels from the imagination into the the vehicle of language so that it can be remoulded back to the level of light for the purpose of reintegration.

These levels of awareness are worthy of remark, as they are worthy of ascension and or construction. The only wasted time in seeking out these markers is attributed to the not-ready, who is more often driven by the light of a fire and not of a candle flame. A candle is your friend, best awoken in the dark or at night, and with no other candles in the same immediate space.

And finally ~

I mean, what is communication? Think about it - what is it? What is its purpose? From an extremely earth based perspective, the only truly rational information that anyone can utter at any point in time is a noise that marks or expresses the point in time that was looking to be named in expression and everything else they might share about something else is fantasy or hearsay at best since it relies on objects and subjects that exist somewhere other than the present observable and otherwise experiencial moment (relies on non-local data dressed as local). The way I see it, one talks when they have something to say and one has something to say if they need to alert someone else of something that enters the realm of the necessity of being expressed. Light that arrives before the word is heavenly, whilst light that arrives after the word is earthly. This phenomena is real and observable by all.

To seek the truth then is to seek understanding of what truth is, why it might be worth finding and why it might be found in the present moment rather than the shadows of the past or future. Truth does not need to be repeatedly spoken as what can be spoken, is of the fire and the shadow and not the light of the truth. I know with all my senses united that to attempt to share the whole truth in the more socially simple and generalist form would not provide enough 'context' for a worthy holistic expression of truth to be captured in memorable symbolic form. Ideas are created from many axioms of information, and the great and greater ideas are no different, they are just infinitely more complex. Which is to say that the big ideas transcend the very dimensions of simple ideas as greater ideas transcend the very dimensions of the great ideas, that is, reaching a wave crest where the technological foundation of the previous modality is ascended through some extravagant simplification previously unknown. This is why the simplest ideas and shortest cliches are often power packed with larger wisdom.

The only wasted time in seeking out these markers is attributed to the not-ready, who are more often driven by the light of a fire, than that of a candle flame, those who seek to keep warm instead of clear.

The true clarity of the now moment comes only when the biological defense and survival systems that can unconsciously use the misunderstanding of time to alter ones internal activity towards chaotic ends, can be put "offline" and ones true innocence can be given license to arise freely and safely. Sometimes this is only possible in some type of seclusion, where one feels safe enough to relax and enjoy the time of one's self and the true 'spark' of divinity with no perceivable threat or conception of anything disharmonic. There are different ways to deal with this aspect of the life experience though, and perhaps surprisingly for what science calls 'a mechanical animal', the path that secures the sanity of the soul can be found in the deeply rational. The bio-logical is no fool, and has been developing over millennia to reach this stage so will not be easily swayed into total compliance or trust in a venture of this magnitude, unless there is some type of proof or coherence in the daily visions and dreams of the observing mind. In a way, you 'talk' your way through with the tools that symbols of truth and the relating axioms of those symbols create and manifest beyond the world of the biology - the world of the now moment.

Language here comes to its heights. Language can be used to symbolically represent complex conscious mental objects and systems, and thus can become the initial medium to use in communication with the bio-logical. This might be because one is dealing with a logical biological system, and no pun intended. Biology is a major factor in that which holds this space together, so learning to communicate openly and clearly with all those concerned is essential. There are certain ideas that biology is intensely interested in, and once you can help biology to deal with these ideas in a virtuous and honest way, you are well to be returned gifts, as only biology can provide. Learn to accept the gift that you have been given, and you will find it returned to you a thousand fold in this fractal universe. Accept the love of understanding and all great things transpire. How could one choose otherwise?




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